happycap

I can't grow a mustache.

It’s true.  As hard as I’ve tried, it just ain’t happenin’.  Not that I can’t grow any facial hair.  It might take me a week, but when it grows in it comes in all patchy.  Kind of like a cactus.  Prickly and sparse.  I try to rock a pseudo-goatee, but that never really works either.  It’s all stubble and no glory.  If I could grow some fabulous facial hair, I’d keep it simple.  I wouldn’t go all appalachian grizzly man.  I’d forego the beard and concentrate on the ‘stache.  Something classy.  Like a handlebar.  Bushy, with a twist.